As many of you know, I recently decided to give the following universal virtue my full attention and adopt it as a life code: I never speak or act out of anger.I have already unpacked the idea of “universal virtue” in a previous post, so I’ll spare the reader and listener any more description of the phrase except to say that it is a virtue that one commits to, regardless.
“I never speak or act out of anger” has to do with me, not others or circumstances.
I am not yet a week into my commitment to this code and have already noticed abundant fruit in my life and the avoidance of a number of destructive fires that I could have started and which would likely still be raging within and interpersonally.
There is more room in my heart and in my head. I feel more spacious. I feel more centered. I feel more of my inherent strength.
I am finding that choosing one code naturally connects to every other code, inasmuch as committing to one code makes us more alert and consciously aware of all of life.
Several times today, I felt the tingling of anger developing within me. I checked in with it to see if it was the kind of anger that is appropriate for the situation and that should prompt right action.
Each time, the anger was a matter of irritation and limited perspective.
By taking the time to check in on it, feeling the sensation in my body, and coming back to the grounding life of breath, I also gave myself time to look around and see what else I might be missing.
Each time, I found that I had been missing a lot.
The experience is similar to looking around with a patch on one eye for awhile, then noticing that I’m only seeing with one eye and removing the patch to see a fuller and truer and more accurate perspective.
I can’t tell you how many times I have received a text message or email, thought it said something, got all riled up, and spent the day working it around in my mind and body only to find out later, when I re-read the text or email in my “right mind,” that it did not say what I thought it said.
There are times when I have not only misinterpreted the text or email, I have left some parts of the message completely unread — important phrases, key words, syntactical cues, and subtle nuance.
It was as if, operating out of the natural negativity bias of the human brain, I went into a reactive mode that engaged the lower-back parts of the brain that are great for fight/flight/freeze but not at all good for most of daily life in the modern era where we need to engage the top-front parts of our brain that help us think, reason, problem-solve, and communicate clearly.
Commitment and consistency have been keys to countering this natural negativity bias, gaining new perspectives, building resilience, moving out of reactivity, and developing the cognitive/emotional/somatic awareness to respond to life in ways that are more loving, wiser, and creative.
For much of my life, I poo-pooed routine and consistency because they felt legalistic, formulaic, and too restrictive for my free spirit that loves to trust its intuition, act spontaneously, and not be fenced in. The irony has been that my commitment to daily routines (such as ice baths, sitting meditation, breath retention, exercise, and writing) has helped free my spirit even more, connect me to deeper intuition, and feel more open to acting with wisdom in the moment because of the connection to an unchanging core that I experience as a safe haven and secure base.
As Spring approaches, I feel like I am experiencing the birth of new life within that I haven’t seen before.
With that sentiment, I’ll let Lorin Roche take us home.
“Oceans embrace a continent.
Space welcomes the sun.
Embrace yourself this generously.Form your arms into a circle
And cherish the arising of serenity.Attend the birth of something new.
Thoughts dissolve into peace,
As you become the One who embraces All.” (Radiance Sutras, p. 91)Peace
