1. Ask God for wisdom
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (NIV)
2. Wisdom to go talk to the person
Matthew 5:23–24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (NIV)
Matthew 5:25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. (NIV)
Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (ESV)
Matthew 18:16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. (ESV)
3. Wisdom to go with the right approach
3A. Wisdom to choose the right time and the right place
Proverbs 15:23 Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! (NLT)
3B. Wisdom to have the right tone
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)
4. Wisdom to speak the truth in love
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (NIV)
4A. Speak the truth about what you did
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (NIV)
4B. Speak the truth about what they did
5. Wisdom to listen
James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, (NIV)
Proverbs 18:15 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out. (NIV)
6. Wisdom to forgive and to be patient with people
Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (NIV)
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (NIV)
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (NIV)
