Like so many of us, I find myself vacillating between the emotions that seem to define us these days.
There are moments of despair, while not hopeless, there is a feeling of uncertainty. A few minutes later there�s a feeling of confidence and knowing that everything will be all right. There�s a feeling that all of this is a vast overreaction, coupled with the nagging doubt that it might not be enough.
After more than a week of Social Distancing and kids being out of school, there are stresses and strains that are to be expected, but no less easy to bear. Tempers are short and nerves are on edge. In so many ways, it reminds me of the long strain of a Submarine patrol.
That said, one of my greatest frustrations while on the submarine was something that I would lose each time we dove. I missed something that I had a once in a lifetime chance to see because of a patrol in 1986. for all my life, my greatest comfort comes from the stars. It�s weird, but I consider Orion, the constellation, to be my oldest friend. So when I can�t see my best and oldest friends, it strains my ability to deal with things.
As I wrapped up another emergency shift the other night, I was gassing the truck. I stepped out of the lights and looked up. The sky was as dark as I can ever remember it being. Not a single star to be seen. Given the whole situation, it caused a feeling of despair.
Back in the truck, driving down an empty road my history brain took over and reminded me of another very dark night, long ago�
