https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-passive-aggressive-behavior-2795481
Definition 定义
Passive-aggressive behaviors are those that involveacting indirectly aggressive rather than directlyaggressive.
Passive-aggressive people regularly
exhibit resistance to requests or demands from familyand other individuals
often by procrastinating,
expressing sullenness,
or acting stubborn.
被动攻击行为是指间接攻击行为而不是直接攻击行为的行为。
被动攻击性的人经常
对家庭和其他个人的要求或要求表现出抵制
经常拖延，
表示闷闷不乐，
或表现固执。
Examples 举例
Passive-aggressive behavior may manifest itself in anumber of different ways. For example, a person might repeatedly make excusesto avoid certain people as a way of expressing their dislike or anger towardsthose individuals.
In cases where the passive-aggressive person is angry,they might repeatedly claim that they are not mad or that they are fine – evenwhen they are apparently furious and not okay. Denying what they are feelingand refusing to be emotionallyopen, they are shutting down further communication and refusing todiscuss the issue.
Deliberately procrastinating is another characteristicof passive-aggressive behavior. When confronted with tasks that they do notwant to do or appointments they do not wish to keep, the passive-aggressiveindividual will drag their feet.
被动攻击行为可能以许多不同的方式表现出来。例如，一个人可能会反复找借口，避免某些人以表达他们对这些人的厌恶或愤怒。
在被动攻击的人生气的情况下，他们可能会反复声称，他们没有生气，或者他们很好 - 即使他们显然是愤怒和不好。否认他们的感受，拒绝在感情上开放，他们停止了进一步的沟通，拒绝讨论这个问题。
故意拖延是被动攻击行为的另一个特征。当遇到他们不想做的任务或他们不想保留的约定时，被动攻击性的人会拖后腿。
Causes 原因
Passive-aggressive behaviors can have graveconsequences to relationships between people in families, romances, and even inthe workplace. So why is this often destructive behavior so common? There are afew things that can contribute to the prevalence of passive-aggression.1�
Upbringing: Some suggest thatpassive-aggressive behavior may stem from being raised in an environment wherethe direct expression of emotions was discouraged or not allowed. People mayfeel that they cannot express their real feelings more openly, so they mayinstead find ways to passively channel their anger or frustration.
Situational characteristics: The situation also hasan influence on passive-aggressive behavior. When you are in a situation wheredisplays of aggression are not socially acceptable, such as at a business orfamily function, you might be more inclined to respond in a covert way whensomeone makes you angry.
Taking the easy road: Being assertive andemotionally open is not always easy. When standing up for yourself is difficultor even scary, passive-aggression might seem like an easier way to deal withyour emotions without having to confront the source of your anger.
被动攻击行为可能会对家庭、恋爱甚至工作场所中的人际关系产生后果。那么，为什么这种经常破坏性的行为如此普遍呢？有一些事情可以促进被动攻击的盛行。
教养：一些人认为被动攻击行为可能源于在不鼓励或不允许直接表达情绪的环境中产生的。人们可能会觉得他们无法更公开地表达他们的真实感受，所以他们可能会找到被动地宣泄他们的愤怒或沮丧的方法。
情境特征：这种情况也对被动攻击行为有影响。当你处于一种无法被社会接受的境地，例如在企业或家庭职能中，当有人让你生气时，你可能更倾向于以隐蔽的方式回应。
选择一条轻松的道路：自信和情感开放并不总是容易的。当为自己站出来是困难的、甚至是可怕的时候，被动攻击似乎是一个更容易的方式来处理你的情绪，而不必面对你的愤怒的源头。
How to Cope 应对
So what can youdo when confronted by a friend, co-worker, or even a romantic partnerwho regularly engages in passive-aggression? The first step is to recognize thesigns of such behavior. Sulking, backhanded compliments, procrastination,withdrawal, and refusal to communicate are all signs of passive-aggression.
When the other person begins acting in such a way, try to keepyour anger in check. Instead, point out the other person's feelings in a waythat is non-judgmental yet factual. If you are dealing with a child who isclearly upset about having to do chores: "You seem to be angry at me forasking you to clean your room."
Thereality is that people usually deny their anger anyway. At this point, it's agood idea to step back and give them time to work through these feelings.
那么，当遇到一个经常进行被动攻击的朋友、同事，甚至对象时，你能做什么呢？第一步是识别这种行为的迹象。闷闷不乐、假装恭维、拖延、退缩和拒绝沟通都是被动攻击的迹象。
当对方开始以这样的方式行事时，尽量控制住你的愤怒。相反，不加判断而是以讲事实的方式指出对方的感受。如果你正在和一个显然对不得不做家务而烦恼的孩子打交道："你似乎因为要求你打扫房间而生我的气。
现实情况是，人们通常无论如何都否认自己的愤怒。在这时候，退后一步，给他们时间处理自己的情绪。
Recognizing Your Behaviors 识别
It is often easier to recognize passive-aggressiveness inothers, but what if you are the one engaging in these behavior patterns? Try totake a step back and look at your own behavior with an impartial eye.
Do you often find yourself sulking when you are unhappy withsomeone else?
Do you avoid people with whom you are upset?
Do you ever stop talking to people when you are angry at them?
Do you put off doing things as a way to punish others?
Do you sometimes use sarcasm to avoid engaging in meaningfulconversations?
If you feel that passive-aggressive behavior is damaging yourrelationships, there are steps you can take to change how you relate to others.Here are some ways to address your behavior.
识别其他人的被动攻击性通常更容易，但是如果你是从事这些行为模式的人呢？试着退后一步，用公正的眼光看待自己的行为。
当你对别人不满意时，你经常发现自己发闷不乐吗？
你躲避你不高兴的人吗？
当你对别人生气时， 你有没有拒绝和他们说话？
你拖延是为了惩罚别人吗？
你有时用讽刺来避免进行有意义的谈话吗？
如果您认为被动攻击行为会损害您的关系，您可以采取一些步骤来改变您与他人的关系。以下是解决您行为的一些方法。
Improve your self-awareness.Passive-aggressive actions sometimes stem from not having a good understandingof why you are upset or what you are feeling. Start paying attention to what isgoing on as you react to different people and situations.
Give yourself time to make changes. Recognizing your ownbehaviors is a good first step toward change, but altering your patterns andreactions can take some time.
Practice expressing yourself. Understandingyour emotions and learning to express your feelings appropriately isan important step toward ending passive-aggressive behaviors. Conflict is anunavoidable part of life, but knowing how to assert your feelings effectivelycan result in better resolutions.
提高自我意识。被动攻击性的行为有时源于对你为什么不高兴或你的情绪没有很好的理解。当你对不同的人和情况做出反应时，开始关注正在发生的事情。
给自己时间做出改变。认识到自己的行为是朝着改变迈出的良好的第一步，但改变你的模式和反应可能需要一些时间。
练习表达自己。了解你的情绪和学会恰当地表达你的感受是朝着结束被动攻击行为迈出的重要一步。冲突是生活中不可避免的一部分，但知道如何有效地表达你的感情可以带来更好的解决方式。
A Word From Verywell
Passive-aggressive behavior can be destructive, but chances arethat we all respond in such ways at times. By understanding what causes suchactions and how to deal with them, you can not only address them with people inyour life but also minimize the potential damage to your relationships.
被动攻击行为可能是破坏性的，但有时我们都很可能做出这样的反应。通过了解导致此类行为的原因以及如何处理这些行为，您不仅可以与生活中的人一起解决这些行为，还可以最大限度地减少它对您人际关系的潜在损害。
