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My Favorite Questions for Making Tough Decisions
By Steve Pavlina
Sometimes you’ll encounter tough decisions that can leave you wallowing in indecision, such as whether to change jobs or careers, end a relationship, move to a new city, or pursue a new lifestyle direction. Sometimes all it takes to gain sufficient clarity, though, is to ask the right questions. A good question can shift your perspective about your decision and make the wise path obvious.
When I face tough decisions, here are some of my favorite questions to ask:
Will this help me grow?
Since growth is one of my highest personal values, I favor decisions where I can expect to learn and grow. If I see little or no growth on a particular path, I’ll tend to lean against it.
...
Would my best self do this?
Asking this question gave me clarity when I was trying to decide whether or not to uncopyright all my blog posts back in 2010. I had created a tremendous body of intellectual property, and I owned it 100%. But I often wondered what would happen if I let go of that ownership and donated it to the public domain. It seemed like a huge leap, and there was no good way to predict the outcome.
When I asked if my best self would do this, the answer was clear. If uncopyrighting my work would help more people than keeping it copyrighted, my best self would pull the trigger and do it.
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Do I want the memory?
Every decision ultimately becomes a memory, and the sum of your decisions will eventually become a string of memories. So which memories do you want?
Do you want the memories of maintaining your current social media habits for the next 10 years? (It’s extremely rare to find someone who can honestly answer yes to this.)
Do you want the memories of keeping your current job for another year? What about your current relationship situation?
Do you want the memories of taking that trip, or would you rather have the memories of not taking it?
This is a really powerful question, and some people have gained immediate clarity the first time they’ve asked it.
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