THE BLURB: What do SYLVESTER STALLONE, JOEL SILVER, DENNIS MILLER, ERIKA ELENIAK and ANGIE EVERHART have in common? They all contributed to making Bordello Of Blood a horrible, soul crushing experience. As things go from bad to worse, our local makeup special effects team wonders how to make blood, the whole cast and crew turn on Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak decides she doesn’t want to do movies like “Bordello Of Blood” anymore, Angie complains to Joel Silver about Gil, and we hear an infamous story about SYLVESTER STALLONE, a wireless mic and a blow job from the Assassins set.
Never mind making a horror movie, we’re too busy living one!
In this episode, we’ll take you on Bordello’s tortured journey from bad to worse and how our special effects struggled to be even remotely special.
It really sucks finding out that those giant-sized bite marks on your ass are yours! As Homer Simpson would put it: “D’oh!”
Indeed everything we did while trying to make “Tales From The Crypt Presents Bordello Of Blood” seemed to result in bad shit, stupid shit or stupider shit happening to us.
What’s worse than doing stupid shit relentlessly? Having all that stupid, relentless shit boomarang back at you.
Wouldn’t ya know it? Every single stupid decision bore stupid fruit.
From almost the moment he arrived in country – and despite the fact that, his wife at the time was from Vancouver – Dennis Miller seemed determined to make everyone Canadian hate him. He succeeded.
Erika Eleniak decided – now that she’d taken the role of an ex porn actress in a movie called Bordello Of Blood – that she didn’t want to play roles like that any more or movies like Bordello.
Angie would return from weekends in Seattle with Sly with all her scenes rewritten – and directed – by Sly.
But Sly, unbeknownst to Angie, was screwing around like crazy on the Assassins set. Their whole crew and our whole crew knew all about it!
There’s a story that Stallone’s never denied about a live wireless mic and a blow job. We tell it here cos we heard it in real time – from the Assassins set.
Then, to top it all off, my boss – Joel Silver – a person everyone thinks of as a monster – tells me my people skills are shit.
Never mind making a horror movie, in this episode, we’re too busy living through one! Speaking of which, it’s never a good sign when your makeup special effects guy asks the producer if HE knows a recipe for making fake blood.
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