Episode Summary: Is "being yourself" actually holding you back? In this episode, we tackle the toxic side of authenticity. While it's good to be true to yourself, using "this is just who I am" as an excuse to avoid growth is a trap. We discuss how to balance self-acceptance with "inspirational dissatisfaction" the drive to be better tomorrow than you are today. We break down how to fire your bad habits, create a mental "Avatar" for success (featuring a mix of Mr. Rogers and Ric Flair), and use physical triggers to flip the switch on high performance.
Key Takeaways & Action Steps:
- The Authenticity Trap: If you aren't improving, you are dying. "Self-improvement" requires you to acknowledge that your current self isn't the final version.
- Step 1: Audit Your Default Settings:
- Identity vs. Behavior: Stop saying "I am a procrastinator." You are a person who has the habit of procrastinating. Separate the person from the action so you can fix it.
- The Pink Slip: Identify the specific behaviors that are hurting your results (like the "Kill the Joe" coffee example) and mentally fire them.
- Write It Down: Do not try to improve your life by memory. If you want to change a default setting, you must document it.
- Step 2: Select Your Model (The Avatar):
- The Hybrid Approach: You don't need to agree with 100% of a person to model them. Create an Avatar that combines the best traits of different people (e.g., the caring nature of Mr. Rogers + the energy of Ric Flair).
- The Magic Question: When stuck, ask: "How would my Avatar handle this situation?"
- Practice, Don't Pretend: Shift your mindset from "faking it" to "rehearsing it." You are drilling a new skill, just like in a dojo.
- Step 3: Develop a Physical Trigger:
- The Anchor: Choose a physical object or action (snapping a rubber band, putting on a hat, the click of a headphone case) that signals to your brain it is time to perform.
- Protect the Trigger: Never dilute your trigger. If your "hype song" is for working out, don't listen to it while relaxing on the couch. Keep the neural pathway clean.
Quotes from the Episode:
- "If you're not improving yourself, you actually aren't standing still. You're dying slowly."
- "Don't try to improve your life by memory. It's the absolute weight of failure."
- "Procrastination is a behavior. It's not an identity."
- "What would Mr. Rogers do? He would care. What would Ric Flair do? He would WOO!"
Action Plan:
1. Write the Pink Slip: Identify 3 habits to "fire" today.
2. Build Your Avatar: Pick 2-3 role models and merge their best traits.
3. Set Your Trigger: Pick one physical action to start your work block and do it every single time.
ARN Suggested Reading:
Blessings In the Bullshit: A Guided Journal for Finding the BEST In Every Day – by Mark Cardone & Theron Feidt
https://www.amazon.com/Blessings-Bullshit-Guided-Journal-Finding/dp/B09FP35ZXX/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=blessings+in+the+bullshit&qid=1632233840&sr=8-1
Full List of Recommended Books: https://www.achieveresultsnow.com/readers-are-leaders
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