This episode is a radical and intersectional feminist analysis of BDSM and how violent sex has been completely normalised by the omnipresence of pornography. I’ve been describing this as my magnum opus because it’s funny but ALSO because unfortunately, there is a huge lack of discussions about the naturalisation of patriarchy-informed sex! I’ll be using a mix of research-based, theoretical, and anecdotal evidence to back up my claims. I hope you learn something new and, like me, can emancipate yourself from patriarchal sex. Reading list below denoted by 🚩!
Follow me ~
TikTok: tiktok.com/@intoodeepod
Resources ~
Abrams M, et al. (2022) ‘Childhood abuse and sadomasochism: New insights’ Sexologies
Baillie R, (2012) ‘Children accessing porn younger: study’ ABC News
Bows H & Herring J, (2022) ’Rough Sex and the Criminal Law: Global Perspectives’ Emerald Publishing 🚩
Davis C, (2024) ‘Do you not like sex or do you just not like patriarchal sex?’ Matriarchal Blessing, Substack
Deckha M, (2007) ‘Pain, Pleasure, and Consenting Women: Exploring Feminist Responses to S/M and Its Legal Regulation in Canada through Jelineks the Piano Teacher’ Harvard Journal of Law & Gender
Farley M, (1993) ‘Ten Lies About Sadomasochism’ Sinister Wisdom 🚩
Gathings M & Parrotta K, (2013) ‘The Use of Gendered Narratives in the Courtroom: Constructing an Identity Worthy of Leniency’ Journal of Contemporary Ethnography
Han BC, (2012) ‘The Agony of Eros’ MIT Press
Hanna C, (2001) ‘Sex is not a sport: Consent and violence in criminal law’ Boston College Law review
Hooks B, (2004) ‘The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love’ Washington Square Press 🚩 (if man)
Lorde A, (1985) ‘I Am Your Sister: Collected and Unpublished Writings’ Oxford University Press 🚩
MacKinnon C, (1989) ‘Sexuality, Pornography, and Method: “Pleasure under Patriarchy” The University of Chicago Press
Murphy M, (2014) ‘bell hooks Will Save Us All From the Long Slow Death That is Popular Feminism’ Feminist Current
Perry L, (2022) ‘The Case Against the Sexual Revolution’ Polity
Snape A, (2020) ‘The BDSM Community Is Worried About Changes to the Domestic Abuse Bill’ Vice
Srinivasan A, (2021) ‘The Right to Sex’ Farrar, Straus and Giroux 🚩
Stansfield R & Williams K, (2021) ‘Coercive control between intimate partners: An application to nonfatal strangulation’ Journal of Interpersonal Violence
Sasha S. Graham @sistaseperatist TikTok ‘The New Sexual Harassment Trend’
Posts from r/antikink and r/pornismisogyny
Chapters ~
00:00 Intro & Acknowledgements
11:32 Historical Feminist Context
20:24 Porn = Bad
30:03 Early Introductions to BDSM
43:22 BDSM = Bad
1:03:30 Consent is Not Enough
1:15:12 Quickfire Proving Pro-BDSM Arguments Wrong
1:26:13 What would a truly liberated and radical expression of sex look like?
