A man who cannot control his emotions is controlled by the world around him. I want to share a personal experience that highlights the power of emotional control and why it is so important.
Years ago, while living in London as a Kung Fu instructor, I regularly commuted by train. One day, running late for an important event, I decided to take a shortcut through the back of the train station—a choice I normally wouldn’t have made. Dressed in full Kung Fu gear, with shaved head and tattoos, I hurried through the area, not thinking much of it.
Two men suddenly emerged from either side, attempting to block my path. They ordered me to stop, but I kept walking. My training and situational awareness told me that stopping would give them control, and I needed to reach an open area ahead. My heart rate spiked, but I maintained control of my emotions, relying on years of meditation and martial arts practice.
They continued to walk alongside me, making threats, including saying they would “shank” me—London slang for stabbing. Despite the tension, I remained calm, analyzing the situation. They had no visible weapons and hadn’t physically touched me. Reacting with violence wasn’t an option unless absolutely necessary. Given my attire and distinct look, I knew any altercation would make it easy for authorities to track me down.
Many have asked why I didn’t just fight them. The truth is, the more trained you are in combat, the more you understand the consequences of violence. It’s not about proving strength but knowing when not to engage. Instead of reacting emotionally, I used a pattern interrupt. When one of them repeated, “At the end of the day, you’re gonna get shanked,” I calmly responded, “At the end of the day, it’s night.”
This confused them. They paused, questioned what I meant, and looked at each other. That hesitation gave me the moment I needed. I pointed out that we had reached an open area, and immediately, they bolted back the way we had come. I continued on, passed my grading, and advanced in my Kung Fu journey.
This experience taught me three key lessons:
True Strength Comes from Control – Strength isn’t about force; it’s about remaining composed under pressure. Training in martial arts, meditation, and fitness builds resilience, allowing you to stay grounded in challenging situations.
Your Emotional Responses Shape Your Reactions – Emotions create neural loops that dictate behavior. If you consistently react with anger or fear, that becomes your default response. Instead, practice presence, confidence, and self-trust to reinforce positive habits.
Men Are Conditioned to Be Emotionally Volatile or Disconnected – Society often portrays men as either explosively reactive or emotionally shut off. True emotional strength comes from acknowledging, understanding, and mastering your emotions rather than suppressing or being controlled by them.
The key takeaway: If you don’t control your emotions, the outside world will. Take time to reflect on past moments when emotions controlled you. Identify the triggers, recognize the patterns, and practice interrupting them. Mastering this skill leads to true self-transformation, not just self-improvement.
Stay on the Warrior’s Path, and take back control of your life.
