In this episode, I sit down with Lily Duffy to explore her lived experience with relationship OCD—a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that targets the very relationships we care about most. Lily shares how a series of difficult life events and an overwhelming fear of the unknown triggered intrusive doubts, anxiety, and relentless questioning about her relationship and future.
At its peak, relationship OCD nearly stood in the way of her marriage, convincing her that certainty was required before commitment. Through the support of a thoughtful and deeply attuned therapist, Lily was introduced to Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work—an approach that helped her understand her inner world with curiosity rather than judgment.
In this conversation, Lily reflects on how learning to relate compassionately to her anxious and protective parts allowed her to move from fear and self-criticism toward hope, healing, and self-compassion. This episode is an honest and grounding exploration of how therapy, inner work, and courage can transform suffering into growth—and how healing doesn’t come from eliminating fear, but from learning how to be with it.
This episode is for anyone navigating OCD, relationship anxiety, or the quiet inner battles that can shape our most meaningful connections.
Lily Duffy, LCSW is a therapist in Denver, Colorado. Lily runs Dreaming Pines Therapy, where they specialize in supporting high masking, late-identified neurodivergent adults who are struggling with chronic shame and self-criticism, complex trauma, burnout, social difficulties, and identity integration. Learn more at www.dreaming pines therapy.com.
ROCD/Relationship Anxiety resources on Instagram:
@forloveweheal
@anxiouslovecoach
