Hey there, and welcome back to The Duke Tyner ride home Podcast show. I'mAxel, and I'm glad you're riding home with me this afternoon.
You know, as you're heading home from work right now, there's probably akid or two waiting for you. Maybe they're at daycare, maybe they're alreadyhome doing homework, maybe they're at practice. And I want to talk to you todayabout something that's been on my mind - how we shape our children's goals anddreams, and more importantly, how we can do it right.
Because here's the thing: our kids are watching us. They're listening tous. And the time we spend with them right now is literally forming who they'regoing to become. That's a big responsibility, but it's also an incredibleopportunity.
So let's talk about it.
First, let's get real about something. We all hear "qualitytime" thrown around like it's some magic formula, but what does thatactually mean?
I used to think quality time meant big moments - the vacation to Disney,the special father-son fishing trip, the elaborate birthday party. And sure,those moments matter. But you know what I've learned? Quality time is often waysimpler than that.
It's the car ride to school where your daughter tells you about thefriend drama. It's the fifteen minutes before bed when your son wants to showyou his latest Minecraft creation for the hundredth time. It's sitting at thedinner table without phones, just talking about the day.
Quality time isn't about the quantity of hours or the price tag on theactivity. It's about presence. Being fully there. Not distracted. Nothalf-listening while scrolling your phone. Actually engaged.
And here's the hard truth for those of us driving home right now: we'retired. Work was long. We've got emails to answer, bills to pay, dinner tofigure out. The temptation when we walk through that door is to zone out,right? But that's the exact moment our kids need us to zone in.
Those after-school hours, that evening time before bed - that's when kidstalk. That's when they process their day. That's when they ask the bigquestions about life. And if we're not present for it, we miss it.
Part Two: Dreams vs. Goals -Understanding the Difference
Now let's talk about the difference between dreams and goals, becausethis matters when we're guiding our kids.
Dreams are big and beautiful. "I want to be an astronaut.""I want to be a famous singer." "I want to save the world."Kids should have dreams. Dreams are the fuel. They're the inspiration.
But goals? Goals are the roadmap. Goals are actionable. Goals have steps.
Our job as parents isn't to crush dreams - even the unrealistic ones. Ourjob is to help our kids turn their dreams into goals they can actually worktoward.
So when your eight-year-old says they want to be a professional athlete,you don't say "that's unrealistic, only point-zero-one percent makeit." That kills the dream. Instead, you say "that's awesome! What canwe do this week to work toward that? Want to practice together? Should we lookat camps?"
You're teaching them that dreams require work. That wanting somethingisn't enough - you've got to put in the effort. And you're showing them youbelieve in them enough to help them try.
But here's the other side of it: you're also teaching them that goals canchange, and that's okay. Maybe they work toward that athletic dream for fiveyears and discover they actually love coaching more than playing. Or maybe theyfind a completely different passion. That's not failure - that's growth.
