PM Modi is off to China after seven years, because nothing says “best friends” like ignoring border fights and posing with Xi and Putin. Indian Railways extended its boss’s contract—apparently fog safety is solved, but train delays remain a timeless classic. The bullet train project is speeding… only in station construction, while the actual train is on Indian Standard Time: coming in 2027. ISRO threw a 5-ton dummy out of a helicopter, proving astronauts will land safer than our economy. And India now has one crore teachers—great news for education, but terrible news for back-benchers hoping to stay invisible.
