Failure or setback + positive reflection = learning & progress = closer to success
In this episode we explore this formula.
In an ideal world, you are flagging the minefield as you go about life, proactively reflecting on decisions to be made or looking to maintain a certain quality of life or output and looking for ways in which you could prepare for these and lessen the impact, or avoid a setback all together. This would be called or is called forethought. Sometimes despite our best intentions, we are blind to the obstacles that lay before us, or are un able to avoid certain setbacks and stagnations.
Breaking down the steps
· identify failure: you have been hindered in some way in your progress towards a goal
· reflect (with exercises like journaling), have fun with it, contain it, create action.
achieve progress (real client examples, anonymized).
Reflecting is opening up a conversation with yourself, anyone who says people who talk to themselves are crazy haven’t seen what it can be like apparently! Learnings and the successes or steps to success is the name of the game. Challenges change and so to are the adaptations and strategies you will use
Reflection Questions:
Failure (the setback) + Reflection questions like:
“What went undesirably?”
“What happened that was a pleasant surprise?”
“What can I influence about this situation?”
“What is beyond my control”
“How could I do things differently?”
“What am I willing to do differently?”
“why is it important to me to keep going?”
Some tips to help along the way:
Intitially right after a failure or setback: Externalize the problem: The problem is the problem, you are not the problem.
During reflection:
Take out self-defeating and deprecating words from your conversation, be kind to yourself as if you were talking to a friend or partner.
Taking action:
If you’re getting caught up in the action phase after you’ve been reflecting, afraid to make another mistake, purposefully make a mistake (a small, insignificant one) this is called paradoxical intention.
Many things require managing multiple moving pieces at once. If you’re struggling with motivation to get started or just don’t know where to start. Write down all the things you have to do as if they were a menu, simple tasks can be appetizers, difficult tasks could be the expensive entrees, and so forth. Pick something from the menu that matches your energy level and do it
The single biggest contributor that is stopping you from reaching your goal, is giving up on yourself. The odds of giving up increase dramatically during those instances where you encounter set back or failure, and you are flush with emotions of regret, sadness, anger, guilt, and blaming others or the world. You are responsible for your life and to direct your life in the direction you desire, you just have to get back on the reins, even if its uncomfortable and across unknown territory. Build the momentum back up piece by piece and in a few weeks or months you’ll thank yourself.
Thank you for listening
