In this episode, we explore why behaviour systems work for many students but not for those who sit outside the middle of the bell curve and what changes when we genuinely listen to a child’s story. We look at how timing, nervous-system regulation, curiosity, and relational repair help us move from confrontation to connection.
We also reflect on the post-COVID social gap, why some young people struggle to engage with traditional approaches, and how simple relational moments greetings, attunement, and authenticity create safety in small but powerful ways.
In this episode, we discuss:
Why some students don’t respond to standard behaviour approaches
How dysregulation and shutdown affect when (and how) we talk
“Connection before correction” as a foundation for repair
A clear structure for restorative conversations
Using thoughts–feelings–behaviour models to guide reflection
The role of affirmation versus confrontation
Practical tools: emotion coaching, comic strips, draw-and-talk, gaming-based dialogue
How curiosity lowers threat and builds trust
Why playfulness and authenticity matter in relational moments
Why This Episode Matters
This episode invites us to rethink behaviour support through a relational lens. When we create space for young people to tell their story, conflict becomes a chance to understand, repair, and strengthen trust. Instead of focusing on control or consequences, we focus on connection, timing, and insight, because real change happens when students feel safe, heard, and valued.
When we honour a child’s story, we open the door to growth, for them and for us.
Connect with Mike Lane
Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123
Connect with Me
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney
