In this episode, our snarky Microsoft Word TTS narrator — the bargain-bin voice Dave chose because he’s a “cheap bastard” — guides listeners through Maslow’s famous “pyramid” (which is really just a triangle), Essentialism, and Existentialism with equal parts philosophy and chaos. We climb Maslow’s five levels from basic survival needs to self-actualization, noting how real life constantly violates the model, how animals live rich emotional lives without turning them into identity crises, and how humans alone launch themselves into existential confusion the moment their stomachs are full. Essentialism says our nature is given; Existentialism says we invent it — and the episode shows how both collide hilariously with modern life, flip-flops on a gum-covered pyramid, and Dave’s TTS avatar complaining its way through the psychology of being human.
