In this episode of Dave’s Candid Philosophy, the long-suffering Microsoft Word TTS avatar—selected solely because Dave refuses to spend money—guides listeners through how essentialism, existentialism, and Maslow’s pyramid shift across the human lifespan. Children begin firmly essentialist, teens explode into existential questioning, adults bounce between the two, midlife brings a second existential wave, and later life blends essentialist grounding with hard-earned existential wisdom. The episode shows how humans use both forces to build identity: essentialism provides stability and belonging, existentialism provides freedom and growth. The practical takeaway is simple: meaning isn’t found, it’s built; essentialism roots you, existentialism grows you; and a good life requires knowing which mode you’re in and which one should steer your next step—all narrated by a TTS avatar who would like hazard pay.