If you’ve ever woken up, looked in the mirror, and thought, “Who even am I right now?” — this episode is for you.
This week, Erin and Jennie unpack the moment so many women face in midlife: when the version of you that existed for decades suddenly feels unfamiliar. From burnout, motherhood, divorce, survival mode, people-pleasing, nervous system overwhelm, and the quiet unraveling that happens when you’ve been everything for everyone else — they talk about what it means to lose yourself… and begin finding your way back.
They explore the “messy middle,” the season between who you were and who you’re becoming, and why sitting in the discomfort is often where real healing begins.
• When you stop recognizing yourself
• The “messy middle” — the space between breakdown and breakthrough
• Why moving, changing partners, or chasing new goals doesn’t fix internal chaos
• Nervous system burnout & why women struggle to slow down
• The constant pressure to do more, fix more, be more
• Doom-scrolling as emotional avoidance
• The power of stillness, boredom, and being alone with yourself
• Tools that help you regulate instead of react
• Relearning self-permission without guilt
• How to begin coming home to yourself again
00:00 — Welcome
00:50 — When you stop recognizing yourself
01:40 — Old photos, old versions of you
03:00 — Surviving vs thriving
03:30 — Jennie’s California story & the false promise of “fixing” life
05:37 — The messy middle
06:14 — Quantum physics + identity (Erin’s nerd moment)
07:59 — Fear, ambition & overwhelm shutting down the nervous system
10:19 — Busy as a coping mechanism
11:20 — Why stillness feels so uncomfortable
13:29 — The doom-scroll generation
14:31 — Self-permission without guilt
16:34 — Nervous system tools that help
19:34 — Social media, shame & comparison
20:34 — Holiday triggers & regulation tips
21:00 — Letting kids be bored
22:20 — Jennie’s healing after divorce
23:28 — RPMs: Erin’s anxiety analogy
24:29 — Regulating without numbing
25:51 — You haven’t lost yourself — you’re meeting her again
27:48 — Listener emails + upcoming guest episodes
29:17 — Closing reminders
• “You’re not who you were… but not yet who you’re becoming.”
• “The messy middle is where the work happens.”
• “You haven’t lost yourself — you’re just meeting her again.”
• “Being bored is a tool, not a problem.”
• “You can’t run a marathon on a hamster wheel.”
Holiday Nervous System Guide (mentioned in episode) — available on our website
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