Adam and his wife Erica struggled with infertility for fifteen months. Adam did not anticipate having to go through testing himself when they weren't getting pregnant. It became harder and harder with each month and they were planning their days around ovulation. They decided to keep the struggles to themselves because they did not want to add the extra pressure of the parents and others getting all excited about being grandparents and having to share the disappointment every month. He said later we realized that it was toxic to keep it just between the 2 of us because we had no one to give us support or perspective.
Erica was given clomid to try, which gave them new hope that they would become pregnant. On their 5th and final round of clomid when Adam was thinking this may not happen for us, he was starting to research about IVF and adoption when Erica surprised him with a positive pregnancy test. On a routine ultrasound it was discovered that the baby had something that looked suspicious and it could be cancerous. At 37 weeks with the area growing their baby girl was delivered.
We talked about the things people say that trigger very hurtful emotions, where they found support and the journey of their baby being treated for cancer.
Adams words of advice and encouragement: You are a dad, father and family man and let that be your identity versus something else, especially for those that have spent so much time to have a family. If you need to see a specialist don't wait too long because your frustration level will go up while getting educated and talking with doctors. Trust your medical professional and if you don't feel confident with them find someone else. Avoid the internet searching because you could find things that you may not need to focus on at the time you need it. Don't go down that rabbit hole because it can put a lot of pressure on you.
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