Andy Karam and his wife experience a tremendous loss of their 2-year-old daughter Fee-Fee due to an accident and then while still grieving were surprised with another pregnancy only to loss that child also. Andy talked about how traumatizing it was to see baby Willow delivered at 14 weeks. She was so tiny, and it is something you cannot prepare for. He said he still sees those images when he thinks of her. We did take pictures of Willow and I remember thinking is this the right thing to do, is it appropriate and I thought I do not want to forget her or these moments.
Andy, now a grief coach shared his feelings and the emotions he felt during the early days of his grief. He talked about there being joy in everyday and at any minute of the day and that does not take away from the grief. Also, Andy said just because you are laughing does not mean that you are ok. It is ok to not be ok. He talked about a friend that always brings up Fee Fee and ask questions about her. She does not shy away from the topic and I told her I do not want her to ever stop asking about Fee Fee and it is NEVER off limits to talk about her.
Andy's words of advice and encouragement: Anyone that is grieving I would encourage you to just be honest and not necessarily honest to other people but to be honest with yourself and what you are feeling. Crying is ok, feeling sad is ok, being angry is ok. There may be days you take 12 steps forward and then the next day you take 20 steps backwards. Find someone or something that gives you peace, that gives you hope and just keep going forward. To someone that knows someone that is grieving, encourage them, validate them, give them the safe place they need to ask questions and do not give advice, do not fix it. TheyDO NOT need to be fixed they need a safe space to share what they are going through and to let it out and to remember.
Connect with Andy via his website: https://www.coralgriefcoaching.com/
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