episode 13 of my podcast, What Chu Talkin Bout dealing with fact that haven't been in love with any one! and I'm ok with that!
(Cited on: https://brightside.me/inspiration-relationships/if-you-cant-fall-in-love-check-to-see-if-you-are-a-victim-of-counter-dependency-798652/)
As it turns out, 20% of single people have never actually fallen in love. It may not sound like a lot, but if you know 5 single people, you most likely know at least one such person. Some people “really don’t need romance,” just as they claim. But for others, this reasoning may stem deeper than just not having someone who’s good enough around.
Here at Bright Side, we learned about a very common but not so widely known condition that stops people from falling in love and building intimate relationships. And that’s what we want to tell you about today. Psychologists name various reasons for this. For example, you might have low self-esteem. In this case, you don’t believe that someone could ever love you, and it blocks you from loving someone as well. Another reason for this could be perfectionism. You might have an ideal picture in your head of what your partner should look like, and don’t give a person the chance because they don’t fit this image. Your high expectations prevent you from falling in love with those who “aren’t good enough.” But there’s something else you might suffer from without even realizing it. You might have a fear of intimacy, which is often referred to as “counter-dependency.”
Some signs of counter-dependency include: Having trouble getting close to people Pushing away people who try to get too close Getting anxious/escaping intimate relationships Constantly feeling afraid to make a mistake Trying hard to be perfect Refraining from asking for help from others Always keeping busy and not being able to do anything Counter-dependent people are generally those who escape intimacy and attachment. Such people are very reserved: they require a lot of personal space and don’t like anyone invading it because they’re afraid to show vulnerability or weakness. However, on the outside, they usually look “normal.” They appear to be confident, successful, and independent, and they try hard to look this way. They show that they don’t need anyone, even though this isn’t exactly true. On the inside, they’re very insecure, needy, and unsuccessful in their relationships.
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