Confessions of a recovering control freak. When we do not have adequate safety and certainty in our childhood, we can maladapt and use control as our way to mitigate that lack of stability.
Okay, this might be a little bit of a sore spot for some of you. I know it always was for me. Know that you are not alone. I see this so very often with my clients.
Low self-esteem and self-worth usually come from a lack of emotional stability in the household. We have not been taught how to emotionally regulate and as a result, we think that WE are the reason to blame. Everyone makes different meanings of these events as a child but a common symptom of low self-esteem is control.
I did it with food, substances, and later, exercise and training. In order to feel safe, I would attempt to control everything around me. It was the only way I knew how to create certainty in my life when my child self couldn't get it from her environment.
As an adult, we can see that these are patterns from our childhood and work to create our own sense of INTERNAL security, certainty, and safety and work on loosening the reins on others and circumstances in our lives.
Find out more about Luna on her socials @lunariagaia or www.moreconfidence.com.au
