Clear Expectations
Some would say that you shouldn’t have expectations, as they’d lead to disappointment. Expectations themselves aren’t inherently bad. What we need is to have clarity on what those expectations are.
If we base our expectations on events or other people, we can fall into the juvenile thinking of entitlement. We disconnect from one another as the childish parts of our brain feels entitled to the other person fulfilling our wishes, almost as if that’s their only role. We can forget they're also dealing with their own unique situations, feelings and desires.
When we set expectations of ourselves, we put ourselves in a better place if we make our expectations of effort only, not just of outcome. We can’t guarantee outcome, we really have very little control over it. But our thoughts and actions, we have much more agency.
The more we can set our expectations about effort instead of outcome, the easier it is to forgive ourselves and paradoxically the more likely we are to put in the work needed to shape the ultimate outcome.
