If you’ve ever felt misunderstood in your relationship, avoid conflict until it explodes, or just want to get better at saying what you actually mean - this episode is for you.
More info, resources & ways to connect - https://www.tacosfallapart.com/podcast-live-show/podcast-guests/nicole-richardson
In this episode, MommaFoxFire chats with licensed therapist Nicole Richardson about what healthy communication really looks like in romantic relationships... and what trips us up. Nicole brings years of experience working with couples, trauma, and crisis recovery and she doesn’t sugarcoat the hard stuff.
They kick things off by touching on Nicole’s upcoming e-course for parents who want to talk to their kids about bodies, sex, and other tricky topics. It’s all about giving grown-ups the words they might not have gotten themselves growing up. Then the conversation moves into more personal territory, from growing up in a military family to the awkwardness of wisdom tooth extractions and why dentists can be the worst.
When they shift gears into the main topic - communication in relationships - Nicole gets clear about what makes communication healthy or unhealthy. Name-calling, passive-aggressive jabs, constant teasing or assuming what your partner meant without asking? Those all fall into the "ineffective" category. Instead, Nicole encourages people to focus on effective communication, which happens when the message sent is actually the message received. Spoiler: it’s harder than it sounds.
A big chunk of the discussion covers processing styles. Some people need time before they're ready to talk, and that’s okay... as long as you tell your partner, “I’m not ready now, but I will be later.” Silence with no explanation, on the other hand, can lead to assumptions and conflict. Nicole also points out how important it is to take responsibility for your own emotional regulation. If you’re about to explode or shut down, take a break. Communicate that you’re taking one and come back to it when you’re in a better place.
They also talk about media portrayals of love and how rom-coms mess us up. The whole “chase them until they say yes” trope? Not cute. Nicole pushes back on the myth that everything’s supposed to magically click once you find “the one.” That’s when the real work starts.
Listeners asked great questions too, like how to shift long-standing communication patterns with parents or adult children. Nicole’s advice: You can’t change others, but you can change how you show up. Lead with consistency and clear boundaries. Sometimes, that means accepting that certain relationships will always be more surface-level... and adjusting your expectations accordingly.
Nicole shares the Gottman method as a tool: use “I feel, I want, I need” statements to express what’s going on inside you without launching into blame or criticism. It’s not about stuffing your feelings down or lashing out - it’s about being honest, respectful and real.
They wrap up with a reminder that communication isn’t one-size-fits-all, but it is a skill you can learn. It takes time, effort and self-awareness... but it’s worth it.
