Right here, right now, in this moment of when I am publishing this podcast episode on the 4th June 2020, in the UK we are slowly easing the ‘lockdown’ restrictions. Whatever your experience of this powerful moment in your lifetime, I hope it brought you to your knees at least once. That moment of deep loss of whatever that represents for you, where there is no option but to meet it, because it is in those deep feeling moments that a gateway of choice opens. Your opportunity to choose to make a change from here on in. A tiny change, a bit change, whatever that may be: job, kids, money, relationship, self esteem. I hope you allowed yourself to release into the discomfort. The discomfort helps us to KNOW. What matters. In this period of 2020, the past few days have been about reflection over race. Privilege - what it means. A silence over social media for black voices to rise. Once again, an opportunity to look in the mirror at our preconceived ideas, at where we are in the space of being ready to hear peoples truths, or not. Back in the world of Conversations from my Duvet (the diary entries from 2018 which I publish on exactly the same day in 2020), there was a pause for 4 days. Here I am right here, right now, absolutely AMAZED at the parallel universe situation. The silence, the pause, partly because in 2018, at that time, our family was taking a two day drive down to the South of France to stay with my family, but also because I was dropped into an environnement where I was conscious of needing to rest and not post anything on social media. In my 2018 diary entry, a universal message - “I’m not feeling what I want to say at the moment”. So, while I feel this moment of natural instinctive pause, I will feel into it before I speak. This brings me right up to today, in 2020, when it may be that we have felt we have had to say things on the current situation when we haven’t allowed ourselves the time to really digest it because we have seen everyone on social media stick on black squares. Our reaction upon seeing this tumbling of squares like a house of cards was either: 1) pressure to add one because it would look complicit to racism if we didn’t, or 2) a genuine feeling of the only way we could express solidarity. Either way - know there is only one way for you, and this is YOUR WAY. When you get off the fucking merry go round of relying on everyone else’s actions and opinions in order to determine yours. No matter how long it takes you, take the time to make the time to feel into your pain, your discomfort, your joy. Your wobbly spots and go into your heart, your body... your KNOWING WHAT’S RIGHT AND CONGRUENT WITHIN YOU. This, my dear friends, is YOUR TRUTH. This is your way to effective, loving change, because you begin to change inside of you. Feel before you speak. Feel before you speak. Thank you for hearing me.
