The floor was alive this evening as the instructor finished assisting a couple of the older youth in his Judo class. Calling a stop to the moderate level throwing randori (sparing practice), he noticed from the corner of his eye two of the younger ones in what seemed a death grip, white knuckle match, and neither one was stopping after the whistle.
The experienced instructor knew this scene all too well and rush over immediately breaking the two up. Red faced the two boys looked as though they were ready to go at it again, as he held each one by the shoulder and knelt between them.
“PREVENTION is the first step in surviving a conflict, “ he began. “When did this start?” Tommy looked like he would cry as he said, “Jojo wouldn’t stop and…” Jojo jumped in, “Na ah Tommy…” The instructor broke in, “That’s not what I asked.” Both boys looked into his eyes. “I said, when did this start?”
Through a carefully guided conversation and questions their experienced instructor brought out their continuing feud that had started about a week before. Further investigation found that Tommy’s dog had died last week, and he was upset, really upset about it.
Jojo had actually been Tommy’s first encounter at school and had asked him what was wrong. Tommy lashed out at Jojo to cover his embarrassment at being found out. No matter what Jojo said, it only made Tommy more upset, and it came up in today’s randori.
After Tommy apologized, Jojo told him he was sorry that his dog had died, and they shook hands and gave each other the traditional Judo hug with backslaps so loud everyone in the school chuckled.
Tommy and Jojo have a story that is all too familiar in many of our lives. PREVENTION of conflict is best handled at the first sign of conflict, before further damage is done.
We can PREVENT the escalation of conflict by being proactive, and not avoiding conflict when it first starts. Think about it, long before conflict grows into a “death grip, white knuckle death match it’s just a word, glance or thought.
Most people when asked say they don’t like conflict, avoid conflict, and ignore conflict. How is that really working for them? In my experience not well. PREVENTION of conflict’s ever increasing nature stops misunderstandings, that turn into battles, that turn into wars. PREVENT….
Allen Hughes Life Defense Coach
#lifedefense #prevent #allenhughes
