Shame is toxic, the most intense and excruciating emotion a human being can feel. It is the feeling of being flawed and defective. This is why dysfunctional parents so often "project" their shame onto their children, often resulting in kids carrying their parents' shame and eventually becoming "shame-based" themselves. This is also why shame manifests in so many different ways, as we want to hide this feeling of being unworthy. These "hiding places" can take many forms, one of the most common being perfectionism. The first step toward healing is to become aware of the unconscious defenses that keep us stuck.
