Don’t be discouraged if strong, negative feelings arise during the forgiveness process.
Committing to forgive. When you realize that holding on to grudges is not working, you determine to try a different approach, to begin the difficult process of forgiving. You decide to release resentment so that you and those around you will suffer less. You accept that offenders (including yourself) are imperfect, and you release yourself from the role of the sheriff who must punish all infractions. You strive, however imperfectly, to replace unfairness with kindness. You commit to the work it takes to release the burden you’ve carried for too long. You might specify what you will now do and not do. (For example, “I commit, as best I can, to release anger toward the offender. I will say something kind about him; I’ll remind myself that his core worth is deeper and greater than his actions—that he and I have equal worth. I will wish for and take delight in his happiness.”) Perhaps you remind yourself that your core worth is not changed, even though you were dishonored!
