People tend to want to fit in. To be accepted. To be normal. I've spent much of my life in pursuit of this. But I've finally realized the downside of trying to be like everyone else. Following the path others have laid out can have negative consequences, both personally and financially.
From accumulating debt, to adopting unhealthy lifestyle habits, it's easy to fall into the same patterns as everyone else. It feels normal, so it seems acceptable. But you have the ability to determine what's valuable in your life and to make your own decisions.
I outline several areas where I've tried to adjust my habits in order to improve my financial situation as well as my personal life.
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My story
- Most of my life I’ve wanted nothing more than to be normal.
- I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that being normal isn’t always a good thing.
What is normal?
- “Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.”
Why do people want to be normal?
Downside
- Avoid taking risks
- Without risks you can’t grow
- It hides your uniqueness
Areas where being normal can have negative consequences:
Debt
- Student loans
- Mortgage
- Credit cards
Buying and leasing new cars
- Don't get into the habit of getting a new car every 5 years
- Used cars are more affordable
Updating your house
- HGTV generation
- Lowes and Home Depot commercials
- There’s always another upgrade
- Some things are necessary, you don’t want to neglect your home
- But many are purely aesthetic – bathrooms, kitchens, new TVs
- Would you rather spend $15-20k on a new kitchen or keep that as an emergency fund or take a family trip and invest the rest
- If you have the money, go for it
- But don’t sink further into debt
Eating low quality food
- Fast and easy
- Often cheap
- We see it in commercials and it normalizes the behavior
Watching too much television
- I am by no means anti-television
- But Netflix has really changed things
- It’s now normal to binge watch
- YouTube is another example
Getting married and having kids
- Marriage can be a wonderful thing
- Having kids is an amazing experience
- But do it when you are ready – not because you're approaching a deadline
- Or don’t do it at all
Being on your phone constantly
- It’s a terrible habit and we all know it
- You see it everywhere so it feels normal
- “What grade were you in…” from 12-yr old
Takeaways
- Be intentional with your choices
- Identify what is valuable – time, experiences – not stuff
- Remember the value of patience and discipline – something we teach kids
