Luke 11
I wonder why I always struggle to build virtues in me. I want virtues to grow in me so that I may not fall into sins or stumble at the opposing vices. I pray and ask the Lord to help me to guide and strengthen me with his Spirit. However, virtues don’t come easy or settle in me soon.
In this famous passage from Luke, Jesus tells me once again, “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” I have asked, I have searched, and I have knocked before. But why are these virtues not growing in me quickly? Why am I still far away from holiness?
I carefully examine my heart over again. I presumed that I wanted virtues to grow in me. But do I sincerely ask them? Do I long for them with my whole heart? Or, do I hate the opposing vices and sins? Do I run away from any occasions of sins?
Then, I realize why I struggle. It is because I still hesitate to sever all these sins. I stumble because I enjoy sinful habits and pleasures. Virtues don’t grow fast because my heart doesn’t truly embrace them. Although I often pray to the Lord, not the whole of my heart prays.
The Lord gladly grants us good things without reservation. Jesus confirms this by saying, “how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit who asks him!” The stumbling blocks are within us. Either we childishly ask for wrong things, or we only halfheartedly ask for good things.
Saints become holy, not because they are born holy, but because they desire holiness. Have I sincerely asked for it before? Have I wholeheartedly called the Lord to help me become a saint? Even when saints sincerely long for holiness, they had a hard time because of the envy of the Devil and his temptations. But if I don’t ask for holiness with my whole heart, I save the work of Satan.
Then, this is my prayer: “Lord, give me your grace to my heart so that my heart may sincerely ask for your Spirit and holiness.”
