Matthew 21
When a man and a woman marry, they exchange ‘yes’ on two occasions, usually. The first one is likely to be private – when one party asks, “Will you marry me?” Then, the second one comes at the wedding ceremony. This ‘yes’ would be public, official, and sacramental. Without both parties’ explicit consents, the marriage cannot be ratified. This ‘yes’ presents the will of both parties to carry out the marital responsibilities and obligations of exclusive lifelong faithfulness, mutual assistance, and procreation and education of future children. These marriage responsibilities and obligations are universally accepted and shared.
However, in many modern countries, at least one in three couples ends up with separation or divorce. In Canada, the divorce rate is about 38 percent. But, unfortunately, this COVID-19 pandemic seems to drive more couples to consider divorce according to recent news reports. After those serious consents of ‘yes’, why do couples break up their marriages?
There can be thousands of reasons for separation and divorce. But commonly, it’s because they are deeply disappointed at their spouses. As couples do not live that ‘yes’ at the wedding in their marital relationships, they feel deceived by that ‘yes’. When couples see no longer any hope for that ‘yes’ to be fulfilled, they find no reason to stay together.
In today’s gospel, one son first refused his father’s calling but later did what his father asked, while the other son quickly responded with ‘yes’ but eventually did not do his father’s will. Jesus admonishes Israel and its leaders who answered and promised to God with ‘yes’ but have not been faithful to God and his commandments. When God led Israel out of Egypt, through Moses, God established a covenant with Israel people’s ‘yes’. However, throughout history, Israel kept failing the covenant with the Lord. Now, those outcasts – the prostitutes and the tax collectors – enter the kingdom of God first, because they repent their sins and live according to the warning of John the Baptist.
At baptism, we or our parents on behalf of us answered ‘yes’, promising our faithfulness to the Lord. And we renew this ‘yes’ every time we dip our fingers in the holy water and every Easter we renew our baptismal promises and profess our faith. But what matters more is whether we live this ‘yes’ every day.
In Canada, the average length of marriages is about 14 years. Couples do not give up marriages overnight. Rather than by one big event, the piling up of daily disappointments and frustrations lead to most divorces – although it takes over 10 years on average. The success of marriage seems to depend on every day, not on one ‘yes’ at the wedding.
Becoming a good Christian, and thereby entering heaven, likewise, is not accomplished by one ‘yes’ at baptism. Every day is a challenge to do the will of the Lord.
Saying one ‘yes’ can be romantic. But doing ‘yes’ every day is heroic.
