John 21
Probably you have heard an explanation of why Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. It’s because Peter denied Jesus three times as Jesus had warned him on the night of the Last Supper. And some of you might have heard why Jesus asked Peter first twice with the verb of ‘agape-love’ and then last time with the verb of ‘philein-love’. Here Greek ‘agape’ means self-giving love. On the other hand, Greek ‘philein’ means love between friends. Jesus asked twice with ‘agape’ but Peter answered with ‘philein’. So, lastly, Jesus gave in to Peter asking with ‘philein’. Jesus expected ‘agape’, but, in the end, he accepted even ‘philen’ because he loved Peter much more than Peter loved him. But Jesus led him slowly into ‘agape’ in the end.
I think these trice questions were also prophetic about Peter’s life and ministry. I believe these trice questions symbolize the upcoming tests for St Peter in his ministry. Against all these tests, St Peter should keep feeding the flock of Christ. As the Acts of the Apostles writes, St Peter was hesitant to minister to the foreigners at the beginning. But with the help of a vision, he realized everything created by God was clean and began to feed the Gentiles. When the circumcision controversy shook the Christian communities, at the chastisement of St Paul, he came back to feed the flock of Christ. I believe many other challenges in his ministry were not written. At every test, he had to say, “Yes, Lord, I love you” and to feed his sheep.
Many of you probably know a traditional account of St Peter’s return to Rome for martyrdom and the famous saying, ‘Quo vadis?’. In this story, St Peter had an opportunity to avoid persecution in Rome. On his way out of the city, St Peter encountered the risen Lord. There St Peter asks Jesus, “Quo vadis?” – “Lord, where are you going?” And Jesus answered, “Romam eo iterum crucifigi.” – “I am going to Rome to be crucified again.” Once again, at this one last test, St Peter answered, “Yes, Lord, I love you.” He turned around and went back to Rome for his martyrdom, which is also foretold in today’s gospel. He had to answer “Yes, Lord, I love you” until it really hurt – not just his heart hurt but actually whole his being suffered with that ‘yes’. And he followed Jesus with his own crucifixion, as Jesus tells him at the end of today’s gospel.
Many priests would feel this passage of St John very personal. I really do. Especially because I failed Jesus many times before. He will ask me if I love him until it really hurts – until I may answer with ‘agape’ love – giving myself to him in suffering. I pray that my Lord may also appear to me and ask me to follow him – so that I may answer ‘Yes, Lord, I love you’ with my death to myself.
