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Can you give someone criticism without hurting their feelings or making them angry? Can you do it kindly?

I think that’s a difficult proposition for most people, but in truth it’s possible to give criticism with kindness and have a decent chance of having the person take it constructively.

Last week, it seems that my post on How to Accept Criticism with Grace and Appreciation struck a chord with many people. It seems that most of us have a hard time accepting criticism without getting hurt or angry or defensive … and just as many of us have a hard time giving criticism without making others hurt or angry or defensive.

Today, we’ll look at how to give criticism with kindness, so that the person who receives it is more likely to take it well.

We’ll also look at why criticism is often the wrong approach to take: positive suggestions are even better.

Why We Give Criticism

I think it’s important to step back and look at why people give criticism. There are a few common reasons (although there are many more possible reasons):

• To help someone improve. Sometimes criticism is actual honest feedback, meant to help the person we’re criticizing. We want to help them get better.
• To see a change that we would like. If we regularly read a magazine or blog, for example, there might be something that often bothers us that we’d like to see changed. Perhaps the person uses too many list headlines, or has too many spelling and grammatical errors. So criticism is meant to help get that change enacted.
• To further the discussion. Criticism can be a way to get a good, intelligent discussion about something going, to take it to a new level, to explore new areas of the discussion, to give an opposing viewpoint, to impart new knowledge.
• To hurt someone. Often we just don’t like someone, and want to get at them, attack them. Criticism in this case is destructive.
• To vent our frustrations. Sometimes we are just frustrated with something, or are having a bad day, and need to vent that negative anger.
• To boost our ego. Some people like to show how powerful or intelligent or knowledgeable they are, and use criticism as a way of doing that. They are puffing themselves up, challenging others, doing an Alpha Male thing.

Tips:

• Criticism should be made in absolute privacy
• Preface criticism with a kind word to compliment
• Make the criticism impersonal criticise the act not the person
• Supply the answer
• Ask for coperation don't demand it 
• One criticism to an offense
• Finish the criticism on a friendly note

#riseofinspiration #criticism #Criticize 

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