I'm racing time, recording this from my laptop with the last of my battery charge - as the rain continues to plummet in extraordinary amounts, the floods waters rise in a 360 radius of or our home and many neighbours houses are already submerged and many more on the brink of flooding. Feeling heartbroken beyond belief, uncertain, unsure and unsafe.
We are stranded in our street with both ends entirely flooded, no way in and no way out.
Jet skis and kayaks are the new transport around our street with rescue helicopters above and the road busy with pedestrians. The front lawn was littered with campers moving to higher ground. The river wild, thrashing and littered with people's personal belongings threaten from all sides ... with no signs of surrendering it rages, still rising, taking everything in its path ...a not as bad as the 2011 flood.. yet... though getting close.
We just got news of friends on their roof with their kids waiting to be rescued. News of our friend's house with the water over the top (2nd time round), news of our boat and tens of thousands of dollars, our dreams GONE. Washed away.
We have no power so can't watch the news .. thankfully. I got a glimpse of it yesterday morning and the footage from overseas and it broke me. No answers, no comfort just a deeper sense of despair and relentless questioning.
We are safe and feeling ALL the emotions. Our usual relaxed, chilled life turned in an instant chaotic and uncertain. Feeling like a terrible parent as my nerves are shot, my emotions at capacity and no patience or space for the childlike play and banter my kids "gift us"
Reminding myself to go into Gratitude quickly turns to guilt as I navigate our situation of still having each other and our house. The deep grief & guilt of not being able to support others, the guilt for feeling lost, broken, defeated while others have lost everything.
Cognitively Knowing... there is no loss, only transformation... little comfort as the heartbreak and loss is rife all around me.
Also "knowing" that this will make us stronger, closer and more resilient. Little comfort again as we find ourselves in the thick of it.
This podcast is more of a diary entry and healing journey for me with the hope of support, inspiration, comfort to one other person or family through these times.
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