Monica Day is obsessed with the areas of life that invite us to admit our deepest desires, stir our greatest passions, and face our most potent fears. As both a writer/performer and a coach/facilitator, she addresses the areas of race, gender, class, power, and sexuality in myriad ways. Ultimately, she sees these critical issues as holding the key to both our individual and collective freedom.
Her performance credits include two solo shows, Song of the Sacred Whore and Falling Into Love, and a collaborative effort, The Secret Order of the Libertines: An Intimate Revolution. She was the creator and host of Essensuality: An Evening of Erotic Expression in New York City and Philadelphia, and the producer and lead coach for the innovative Power of One program, which uses the solo show format as a vehicle for personal and cultural transformation. As a coach, she works with individuals and couples, offers workshops, and regularly offers innovative group programs.
In this new episode of the She Rises podcast, Giovanna Capozzainterviews author and life coach Monica Day. Monica has been actively offering transitional coaching, sessions for individuals and groups, as well as apprenticeships for her clients. The focus of Giovanna Capozza’s discussion with Monica Day revolves around Day’s new book called “Play Wide, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving and Receiving.” This timely guide addresses the importance of rising above sexual shame and gender stereotypes about sexual pleasure and indulging in safe and consensual intimate exploration. Monica Day offers tangible methods to take the embarrassment out of the communication of personal desires and the importance of using polar opposites in your relationship to spark hot sexual energy.
Giovanna welcomes Monica to the podcast
Monica defines sex as foundational to all of our lives, not relegated to the bedroom
Doesn’t consider herself a sex coach or “sexpert”
Monica’s “Sex Rises Story”: Monica’s feelings of once feeling unfulfilled: her own business, family breadwinner, raising two kids, putting ex-husband through school
Writing erotic poetry after marital separation and depression
Monica will have future book about personal coming-of-age sexual desires
Monica lost her virginity against her will
Sexual and body shame getting in the way of sexual exploration
People not being taught the difference between sexual acts and sexual energy
Predatory sex
Shared ways to express sexual desires as individuals and in relationships
Breaking free of societal taboos about sex that create shame
Intersection between race and sex
Sexual habits and desires leading to self-judgement and fear
Performance-based language about sex
Distinction between sensation-based language and judgement-based language
Popularity of “50 Shades of Grey” and the romance novel industry
“Erotic Self” and a “Domestic Self”
Communicating sexual curiosities
Monica’s advice to remedy a couple’s lack of sexual communication: Slowing down, being playful and curious, taking goal-orientated sex results out of the picture
Repression even in a highly sexualized society
Monica advising a company how to change their sexualized approach to using desire in advertising
The problem with pornography getting in the way of intimacy
Where our sexual organs are in our body is where our creativity and life force energy resides, a lot of our shames lives there as well
Women shutting down their sexual interests to avoid shame
Mastering the powerful fuel of sexual energy
“Solo Practice” to explore your own body to learn personal desires
Communication to feel full desire
Masculine and feminine energy in sexual tension
Important polarities to create desire: Leading and Following, Dominance and Submission, Fantasy and Reality
Giovanna talks about “The Little Death” an Australian movie about a wife sharing her rape fantasy with her husband
“The Primal and the Sacred” as a range for sexual desire
Start something new in your relationship before it dies
3 Key Points:
