We choose to acknowledge that, at one time, we were victims. We suffered.
We choose not to blame ourselves and we remind ourselves that our mothers were the responsible adults at the time. Chances are our mothers were not able to take responsibility then, for a variety of reasons, and nor will they want to do so now, but that doesn’t mean we can't stop blaming ourselves.
We choose now to be responsible for our own healing (which will make it easier to be accountable for our own actions).
This is compassionate accountability. It is a felt experience not just an intellectual exercise. And it doesn't require forgiveness.
~~~
Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course. You can also click the +Message button on the podcast homepage to send me a recorded comment or question. Subscribe to my email Love Notes.
~~~
Karen C.L. Anderson is a writer, author, and master-certified life coach who helps women use the troubled relationships they have with their mothers and/or daughters as a catalyst for growth, empowerment, wisdom, and creativity.
She is the author of:
Karen runs the Make It Real membership community (for women who want to “make real” the concepts in her books) and is at work on a memoir, A Letter To The Daughter I Chose Not To Have.
She lives on the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline.
