This week Stacy Schaffer, LPC shares some thoughts on how to support children and young people in this season.
Questions for personal reflection or (preferably) discussion with someone else...
•Stacy talks about the four perceived threats of the brain our kids often face: physical safety, the unknown, emotional in-congruence, ‘shoulds’ or unmet expectations. Adults experience these as well; in what ways have you perceived these threats in your life? List a couple examples for each of the four threats.
•Stacy talks about being an “external regulator” for the children in our lives. When kids feel anxious the adults in their lives can help to bring calm and re-regulation. What are ways you have naturally been an external regulator for the kids in your life? What do they respond best to?
•What are some of the unknowns that are difficult for you and/or the children in your life right now?
•Making the unknown known can help our kids regulate their fears and anxiety. Stacy says, “The more informed our kids are the better.” Even though there are so many unknowns in this pandemic, what are some of the things you do know that you could share with the kids in your life?
•Kids pay attention and pick up on our emotions and reactions and most kids (and adults) pick up on emotional incongruities (when our behavior doesn’t match our words). How can you be more honest with the children in your life (in age appropriate ways) about what is really going on in you and the world?
•What unmet expectations are the kids in your life facing? If you are a parent, what shifts have happened in your child’s identity in this season? What would it look like to help your child acknowledge and grieve these changes?
•Everything we’re going through isn’t a vacation for our kids. How can we be gentle with the kids in our lives and let go of some of our expectations of them? How can we help our kids be gentle with themselves?
