We are always adding to our lives people ask this and that and we say yes to a number of them to each thing you say yes to you say no to something else. This is because of the finite function of time. There is only so much so when you say yes to one thing another will fall off the schedule even if that is not the plan. So it is important to be selective about what we say yes to because more isn’t always better.
Let’s walk through this: Your spouse, child, or boss asks you to do something and inside of you lets out a large groan. This does not pass your lips and the person you are talking to doesn’t see it. Then you look them in the eye and say “Okay” as chipper a mood as you can manage. All the while you are feeling dread sweep over you like the flood waters swamping Louisiana. I’m sure you’ve done this. The number of times you do this might vary in response to how you are feeling and your level of empathy at the time. As a fairly empathic person I can tell you this has happened to me more times than I can count. One of the reasons I did not say “no” is I didn’t feel I had the right to say “no” I know what it was like as I have been there. Like a deer in headlights wanting to say “No’ but unable to. If your self confidence is low it is so much harder to tell someone ‘no’ and there are people out there who can see that in you from across the room and they will prey on your inability to stand up to them.
People often believe that to be more successful the need to be more decisive, inclusive, enthusiastic, patient, or a better communicator. Picture yourself as a bucket. And it is filled with all the things of your life. Like water in the bucket. I’m betting your bucket is to the brim. If your bucket is not full maybe you can add to it. But if you are like most of us adding anything will make your life gush over the side running down the side and all over the floor.
A surgical approach may be needed in your life. In order to have more of what you want you have to cut out some of the other things in your life that are not as important. It is so easy to get stuck on things that have little importance. Things like tv, movies, social media, gaming and email. The number of hours that you can get sucked can wipe out an entire day. It is okay to have each of these in your life. It is important to make sure they fit into the time that you allot for them. Maybe you reduce them by 15 or 30 mins so that you can input something else that you want done. But so many things that are loud are of little consequence while somethings that have huge consequences are so quiet. So do a little surgery on your life and cut out part of the things that fill your life but do not fill you with passion.
But making more of your life requires commitment and action. If you commit to the things that drive others goals and spend your time doing things that help them, you will have little time for the actions required to make your goals come true. You need to edit from your life the things that do not move you in the direction you want to go. By removing complications, clutter and noise from your life you remove obstacles and barriers to having the things you want. This provides a clearer path to something better. That is how you add to your life by using subtraction.
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