So, this post was on my feed. "I have a husband who helps, but that doesn't mean I was 'so lucky to find a man like that.' Yes, I'm lucky to have him. But him being what a father and husband should be is not the main reason. When I tell others; I'm going away for a weekend to meet up with friends, he's cooking dinner tonight, or he took them grocery shopping without me, or he cleaned up and did the laundry, the people I’m talking to look like I've told them a ghost story. Then comes the, 'Oh my god, you're so lucky! I need to borrow him. I need a man like that.'
The thing is we're a team. I pick up after him, he picks up after me, and we take turns looking after the kids so we both get a break. Being in a relationship, especially with kids, takes a ton of work, from both sides. When he comes home from work, he plays with the kids so I can make dinner. Then I'll play with the kids while he cleans up the kitchen. I make dinners on the weeknights, and he makes breakfast every weekend morning. We both have each other's backs. We both do our share of 'work' at home and with the kids. That's the way it should be. I'm not lucky to have him because he does what a father should be doing. I'm lucky to have him because of the person he is. And who I am when I'm with him." Now this is a marvelous post. And I wanted to break it down and go over it.
Let’s look at the first paragraph. It talks about being lucky but not because of the actions that he makes as a father or husband. Being a father and husband mean different things to different people, in different places and at different times. But let us look at the big picture and see what we can find. Most will agree that a father is responsible for the welfare of his wife and children. This can be for things like a roof over their heads, clothing, shoes, food and education. That is only a small part of what total welfare is.
So now let’s move to the second part of the post. Only in shared responsibilities can you have the opportunity to take a moment to catch your breath on the bench. Life, especially with kids, takes a ton of work. Parenting is meant to be a tag team. When one of you is down on the mat, you slap their hand and jump in to save them. This is what builds a strong relationship. This builds trust in one another. If you care about your spouse or child; You have to jump into the game. Families need to be a team. They need to work together. Fathers cannot be the coach setting on the sideline, no they need to be on the field side by side with the rest of the team. They can be a leader on the team. But if they are not on the team the team will not win. Here are some stats. Without a strong father, children are at 2X’s greater risk of obesity, a 4Xs greater risk of poverty, and 7X’s more likely to become pregnant as a teen. If you think one person can’t make a difference then look at the proof of what a father can do. Check out the National Fatherhood Initiative. A fathers' nurturing presence helps children mentally, socially and emotionally. Take responsibility for changing this world! Take the responsibility of being a father to your children.
I want to go over this last sentence one more time. “I'm lucky to have him because of the person he is. And who I am when I'm with him.” This is the type of relationship that I hope you have! This is the kind of relationship I want to help you create.
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