When we were born our natural state was “love” we love ourselves. Then we started to see outside of ourselves and if we were in a secure supportive environment, we felt love for our parents. Then the circle continued with other family members and friends. Now for all of us there was a point that that all changed. The point that caused the pain is different for all of us. Maybe as a young child you were not wanted. Maybe instead of being loved you were the point of someone's power or lust like we talked about in the last episode. So maybe the story you took was that you were unwanted, or unworthy. Maybe it happened later in your teen years. Most of us have picked up a time where we stop loving ourselves. We then start to judge and compare ourselves. We put the needs of others ahead of ours, maybe we created an addiction, started to abuse our bodies, or accept less than we deserve. These are the opposite of self-love. How did we move so far from our natural state of feeling “loved.”? Well, It all starts with our story. At some time, you took an experience you had and assigned a certain meaning to it, that you are unlovable.
How do we reverse that? To start loving yourself the thing to do is to become aware and accept that you are the only one with the power to change that feeling. So often people say “I can’t control what others do. I'm just reacting to them. But the truth is the triggers are yours. You have the ability to move and maybe even remove the buttons that they push. Not everyone reacts the same way to the same stimuli. If others can react differently, you can choose too also. We free ourselves as we learn to control our thoughts and change them to adjust our emotions. How has being a slave to your emotions served you so far? Does it make you feel loved? Of course not. When you truly love yourself, you find the love and strength inside of you to not react to the situation.
One of the things that will lead you towards loving yourself is to contemplate on your own value and worth. As you learn of your true value and worth you will see yourself differently. As someone of value you will not allow that voice in your head to dribble on and on beating yourself up. As being someone of worth you will not put others needs before your own. You would not treat any other person of worth like that but for some reason it has been okay to treat yourself that way in the past.
Now that you have contemplated on your value and worth it is time to show yourself compassion and patience. Just because you have started to see your value doesn’t mean that you will not react in situations nor that you will not slip back and into an addiction. Those triggers will still be found from time to time. That is okay. Now is the time to practice compassion. It is okay to fail. That is a part of the life experience we are having. You do not have to be perfect. Here is a time to be patient.
If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, overreacting, using avoidance tactics, breaking your word, and doing it over and over again; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, fail forward and continue to try, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming. Contact me.
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