I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life'. – Maya Angelou
Many people including those who have been very successful in their chosen field, have felt like there is nothing to live for. They have either attempted or been successful in taking themselves out of the game of life. These people were unable to cope with their emotions and the pain they were experiencing. They struggled to deal with their story. Some are incredible people like John Belushi, or Heath Leger both of which died of a drug overdose and Robin Williams. These were incredible people who made a difference in the lives of others and they are missed each day. People who changed the lives of millions, but were unable to change their own story.
I am sorry that these wonderful unique individuals are gone. I then look at my life and try to see if there are any similarities. When I wanted my life to end and I wanted to leave this world, what was it that I hoped to gain? What things might people think about if they are looking at ending their lives?
One of the things that people go through is the thought of how bad life is. I saw an example of this in Shrek The Musical the other night. The song “I Think I got You Beat” really spoke to me. The lyrics were about comparing their difficult lives. This is something I think many of us have done before. In the song Fiona is complaining about just having a hot plate and a cot, Shrek whining about being attacked and bullied. Each one trying to convince the other that they had it worst. Have you ever compared your life and how bad you have it? I think to get to a place where you’re using drugs as a coping device or if you’re contemplating suicide it is probably something you’ve thought about.
Now, I’ve experienced pain and abuse and I’m betting you have also. I don’t think comparing it gets us closer to overcoming it. I don’t want to compare the things that caused me pain to the things that caused you pain. I don’t need to get into “my life’s harder than yours.” I have gone through the things that have happened to me and I have the right to decide what I will think about those moments. But this is how we create our story. I will take my life and the issues that I have been through over yours.
Most of the time when I have compared my life to others I end up looking at it to find fault in someone else. Or I somehow don’t measure up, or they have an advantage that I didn’t. It is with a predetermined outcome that I judge what is going on. I know I am not alone here. I have worked to build beliefs that back the outcome that I have chosen. It is my way of backing up the belief that I want to prove right. These beliefs do not have to be true they only must be believed to be deadly.
Have you experienced any of these thoughts?
You are not as good as someone else?
You are successful in one area of your life yet are failure in others?
Just because you have learned to develop a living doesn’t mean that you have created a life?
Have you ever wanted more?
Doesn’t matter what you are being told by outside influences’ you still feel like a failure.
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