You'll never be famous and that's okay by Emily Estefani Smith
“Today’s college students desperately want to change the world, but too many think that living a meaningful life requires doing something extraordinary and attention-grabbing like becoming an Instagram celebrity, starting a wildly successful company or ending a humanitarian crisis.
Having idealistic aspirations is, of course, part of being young. But thanks to social media, purpose and meaning have become conflated with glamour: Extraordinary lives look like the norm on the internet. Yet the idea that a meaningful life must be or appear remarkable is not only elitist but also misguided. Over the past five years, I’ve interviewed dozens of people across the country about what gives their lives meaning, and I’ve read through thousands of pages of psychology, philosophy and neuroscience research to understand what truly brings people satisfaction.
The most meaningful lives, I’ve learned, are often not the extraordinary ones. They’re the ordinary one’s lived with dignity.”
For those that know where their worth comes they know it is not from those things, but from moments of contentment and connectedness, ordinary moments, moments that were made extraordinary by catching a flash of joy. It could be a moment of inner stillness or a deep intimate conversation with a friend or loved one.
Richard Rohr who is a Franciscan Friar and prolific writer explained that we have two halves of Life. The first half is focused around establishing your identity and experiencing and expressing your ego. It is mostly spent pursuing external things.
The second half of your life is spent pursuing integrating those things that follow a sense of significance, meaning and soulful fulfillment. The most meaningful lives are often not the extraordinary ones; they are the ordinary lives with dignity. We all have the ability to touch the circle of people around us and positively affect their world. There is a term called “generative” that encapsulates the idea that we are supposed to give back to society, especially the younger generations. In doing things like raising children, mentoring colleagues, volunteering, creating things of value for our community or even society at large. Fame and glamour are about the self-aggrandizing of yourself but generativity is about connecting and contributing which is the very definition of leading a meaningful life.
A meaningful life is not found in success and glamour but in the mundane the nitty-gritty of day to day living. One research study showed that adolescents who did housework and household chores felt a stronger sense of purpose. The resource believed the “why” is because they're contributing to something bigger; their family. Another study found that cheering up a friend was an activity that actually created meaning in a young person's life. If you see your occupations as an opportunity to serve others you will find more meaning in your work. It can be contributing to a team whose work has made a positive impact on a large number of clients or it can be working with people to make a difference. Either way it has been shown to reduce stress and give you a more amazing experience. If you are feeling unhappy, discontented and anxiety ridden it is most likely because you have lost your true purpose, doing things that impact others and make their lives better will make your life better. There is no one true purpose, do whatever you are doing with purpose! That's your purpose!
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