To Ben,
I hope you get this message.
The other day when you asked me if I thought you were gay I replied no. I was lying. I do, in fact, think you are gay. I’m not saying that you are physically attracted to other men, though I do think you are a little bit and I support and accept you for that, I’m saying that you are just gay. Gay like a remote with faulty batteries, gay like Seeber in the playoffs, gay like gelatin. I hope you read this, I do, and I hope you know that win or lose, you will still be gay.
-the Fantasy 4 Play support hotline **Dial 1-800-BENIS4EVAGAY**
