In Tony Robbins’ books, he describes how many people have very high standards for happiness. Everything has to be in line before they will allow themselves to be happy - their work, their love life, their family life.
Of course, the higher the standards we set for happiness, the less likely we are to achieve it. As Robbins points out, there is nothing stopping us from deciding to have low standards for happiness - for deciding that being with friends, dancing, eating, breathing or anything else are the only conditions we require to be happy.
In “On Becoming A Person”, humanist psychologist Carl Rogers describes the case of a client named “Mrs. Oak”. Mrs. Oak describes her revelation, noticing that it never seems quite right when parents tell a child not to be sad, not to cry. If the child wants to cry, says Oak, just let him cry.
Likewise, if a child feels like being happy, being pleased with himself - not in an egotistical or vain way - we can let him be happy. Equally, we can let ourselves be happy.
For transcript and notes go to: Conditions for Happiness A Beautiful Thought
