We will start with some weird stories from the last week of 2017. We’ll give you the lowdown on Melania’s brave battle against Andrew Jackson’s magnolia tree, the greater of two evil PAULs running for senator in Wisconsin, and another classic Cernovich self-own, this time on Reddit!.
In the pop culture corner, we’re finally done with Star Wars, so we are ready to move on to its polar opposite. We’re talking about Bright, Netflix’s brand-new inexplicable Will Smith buddy cop movie. Its $90 million budget and attempt to recast race relations as magical clashes have certainly generated a lot of noise.
For story time, we are proud to present THE STORY OF 2017.
The least important resistance figures of 2017
https://splinternews.com/the-least-important-resistance-figures-of-2017-1821516772
Melania does not respect wood - cornball Chelsea Clinton weighs in
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/chelsea-clinton-thanks-melania-trump-for-preserving-part-of-the-magnolia-tree/article/2644455
The other Paul running against Paul Ryan is a straight up nazi
http://money.cnn.com/2017/12/27/media/paul-nehlen-steve-bannon-breitbart/index.html
Cernovich owned on Reddit
https://splinternews.com/mike-cernovich-s-reddit-ama-backfires-spectacularly-1821538191
Bright is the opposite of The Last Jedi in terms of critics-vs-audience scores
https://qz.com/1165113/rotten-tomatoes-scores-for-star-wars-the-last-jedi-and-netflixs-bright-do-critics-still-matter/
Jeff Weiner of LinkedIn loves it
https://twitter.com/jeffweiner/status/943546406643609600
The algorithmic design of Bright
https://qz.com/1161921/netflixs-will-smith-movie-bright-acts-like-algorithms-made-it/
Scorned makeup artists on the Bright set
http://www.indiewire.com/2017/12/bright-end-credits-left-off-makeup-artists-studio-adi-1201911081/
Chance the Rapper on Bright’s insane recharacterization of race relations
http://www.vulture.com/2017/12/chance-the-rapper-wants-to-talk-race-and-netflixs-bright.html
Barron thinking Kathy Griffin actually beheaded Trump
http://www.tmz.com/2017/05/31/barron-trump-thought-donald-beheaded-image-real/
Bill Maher’s Milo interview
https://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/see-bill-maher-milo-yiannopoulos-talk-free-speech-trolling-w467783
TPUSA’s diaper stunt and the alt right-not wiping bottoms out of homophobia https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/listen-up-men-we-need-to-talk-about-how-to-wipe-your?utm_term=.swwkVdMrN#.lhwjo6bk7
I love my thicc wife http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/08/man-dragged-for-instagram-post-about-loving-curvy-wife.html
Kurt Eichenwald’s tentacle porn story
https://news.avclub.com/newsweek-s-kurt-eichenwald-was-just-looking-at-tentacle-1798263101
Guy suspended from twitter for sexual harassment against Tony the Tiger
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/you-can-release-your-great-all-inside-me-daddy?utm_term=.jlzGx4zyW#.jbK5Zwb0K
Kellyanne hawks Ivanka’s ghastly consumer products
http://www.cnn.com/videos/cnnmoney/2017/02/09/kellyanne-conway-nordstrom-ivanka-nr.cnn?iid=EL
Sean “Holocaust Center” Spicer at the Emmys/Spicer at Harvard
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/09/colbert-emmys-sean-spicer-skit
http://iop.harvard.edu/fellows/sean-spicer
The Mooch New Yorker “interview” w/ Ryan Lizza
https://www.newyorker.com/news/ryan-lizza/anthony-scaramucci-called-me-to-unload-about-white-house-leakers-reince-priebus-and-steve-bannon
Chris Christie on the beach
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/03/nyregion/chris-christie-beach-new-jersey-budget.html
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS LEFT OFF BAD N BOUJEE
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/bet-awards-2017-joe-budden-migos-confrontation-fight-bad-and-boujee-left-out-a7808336.html
Tyrese Gibson’s meltdown
http://people.com/movies/tyrese-gibson-sobs-please-dont-take-my-baby-in-emotional-plea-to-ex-wife/
