Letters from Prison - Ephesians 6:1-4
There are two questions parents have to answer; two crucial questions that all of us as children need answered from the beginning of our lives. If they're answered positively, then "honoring your parents" is a joy. If they're answered negatively, not only does it leave us vulnerable, but honoring and obeying parents will always be a struggle.
Here are those two questions:
1. Am I worthy of love? (Am I important to someone?)
2. Are others capable of loving me? (Am I safe?)
Based on how these two questions get answered forms our identity and our core beliefs about ourselves. If parents / caregivers do a good job of answering them, then a child feels safe and secure, thus a greater ability to deal with lifelong stress. And we feel safe and secure and we can try new things without fear, because we are convinced that failure doesn’t bring condemnation or abandonment.
But if these questions go unanswered then we end up having these scathing inner dialogues with ourselves as we get older. “I’m worthless. Nothing I say or do is ever right. I’m ugly, fat, and lazy. I’ll never amount to anything.” And what makes these scathing inner monologues and self-abuse even more dangerous is how a person tries to silence those voices with various mechanisms and strategies.
An early rupture in attachment with parents or caregivers can be devastating. If you’ve experienced abandonment on some level, when it comes to your parents, you may feel pain, anger, and confusion rather than closeness, warmth and security. And so, when we talk from Ephesians 6:1-4 about honoring parents, then it will be a struggle.
Would you like to do a great job of answering those two questions for your kids? Would you like to find a measure of healing from the pain you've endured because those two questions were not answered for you? I would invite you to consider what is shared today in the message and to open your life up for Christ to meet you in your wounds and bring about your healing.
Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
