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Message Notes:
8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love's sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus,[b] whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. – Philemon 8-16 (ESV)
because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, — Philemon 5 (ESV)
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. — Galatians 6v10 (ESV)
The quality of your relationships are determined by how you handle conflict.
15 “You shall not give up to his master a slave who has escaped from his master to you. 16 He shall dwell with you, in your midst, in the place that he shall choose within one of your towns, wherever it suits him. You shall not wrong him. — Deuteronomy 23v15-16 (ESV)
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. – Proverbs 19v11 (ESV)
The effects of unforgiveness:
Bitterness
Isolation
Distrust
Fear / Worry
Depression
Hindered perception
You can’t conquer what you don’t confront.
What does Forgiveness do?
1. Forgiveness changes me
12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. — Colossians 3v12-13 (ESV)
The Types of Forgiveness:
Detached forgiveness - reduction in negative feelings but no reconciliation in the relationship
Limited forgiveness - reduction in negative feelings, partial restoration, with less emotions
Full forgiveness - total cessation of negative feelings, relationship is fully restored
Forgiveness frees you from needing to get even.
2. Forgiveness is a choice
13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. – Philemon 13-14 (ESV)
Forgiveness means you don’t bring up what someone did anymore…
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.
— John 16v33 (ESV)
3. Forgiveness is Christlike
16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. — Philemon 16-17 (ESV)
