Having a partner is great especially when you have been single for a long while.
You finally meet someone but you may not be consciously aware of the choices you are making as you are running on your emotions. It feels good to have someone shower you with so much affection and attention. It just feels right and you believe you have found "The One."
You may get showered with the gifts, text messages, phone calls and FaceTime/WhatsApp video calls. You may hang out and begin to feel this person's touch.
Red Flag #1: Showing affection and attention too early in a relationship is love bombing. It is done to manipulate your emotions and understand how you will react emotionally.
You share your past emotional pain and it suddenly feels like you have known each other for decades. The slightest touch turns into kissing and eventually become sexual entanglements.
Red Flag #2: Meeting someone who engages in sexual chemistry early in the first few weeks may be due to trauma bonding. This is not healthy. You both are soothing your emotional pain/trauma. This usually leaves you fantasizing about the future but you must understand that it takes at least 3-6 months to know and understand someone as well as build trust.
You may start to express your need to go to the next level in your relationship, asks questions and you discover your partner is now serving you with silent treatment, gaslighting or ghosting on you - Red Flag #3.
This person is not able to handle their emotions or have become overwhelmed by your emotions/feelings, may not be emotionally mature, may avoid some conversations that will expose their emotional pain and open Pandora's box or he/she may not be ready to address conflicting issues.
Red Flag #4 - Having multiple partners in order to avoid being abandoned or rejected by you should the relationship not work out as he/she may have planned. Your partner is seeking for validation and attention from others.
Red Flag #5 - Always blaming the ex for what happened. This partner does not want to take responsibility or be accountable for his/her part in the previous relationship. This is all about control and may also be an early warning sign of an abusive partner.
The Purposeful Relationship Inner Circle allows you to learn how to heal from unhealthy emotional attachments and recognize dating red flags while finding yourself and gaining a conscious awareness of who you are to build a healthy and purposeful relationship with yourself first. I would like to support you by inviting you to join the Inner Circle (an exclusive monthly membership community).
Signing off for now...yours truly,
Kemi Sogunle
https://www.kemisogunle.com
