The special relationship is founded on a need to "get something" from another, because we feel deficient in something. We expect another to complete us in a way we cannot complete ourselves. This inevitably ends in anger, and a projection of guilt onto another.
It's like saying, "Because you do not complete me, and wipe away my feelings of deficiency, you ar guilty!" We get angry when we do not get want we want from another, but we have "set it up" to always remain discontented. The person cannot complete us, because in truth we are not lacking. It is an illusion of lack that we project, and make demands on others to fill. We use this to justify our anger and attack.
The Special Relationship is subtle and vicious. It does not see the corrections that need to be made within ourselves, therefore it demands others must change, but not ourselves. It asks for "sacrifice" from others, and always feels lacking.
