Dave Walker lived a life that might be familiar to anyone trapped in the rat race, making good money and surrounding himself with "stuff", but fundamentally unhappy with his work, using alcohol as a coping mechanism, and disturbed by the person staring back at him in the mirror. What might not be so familiar is Dave's trajectory out of this spiral: re-examining his upbringing, leaving his work situation and starting a new company, investing more time with his children, and re-inventing himself... all in the shadow of a harrowing car accident. Please join me as we journey with Dave through his transformation, and discover the different legs of the metaphorical stool that supports him.
Here is a breakdown of our discussion:
01:03 - Dave's origin story, where he talks about his way out of clinical depression and alcoholism.
03:36 - His Six-Legged Stool model for life.
04:51 - Our children are the catalyst for change.
07:02 - Knowing your love languages.
08:03 - Little changes adding up to big improvements.
08:37 - The different parenting styles between Dave's Mom and Dad.
09:32 - Not liking the face looking back in the mirror.
10:20 - Reparenting yourself when your parents haven't given you the tools to cope with life.
11:57 - A Harvard degree in suppressing your feelings.
12:53 - Dave reconnecting with his Mom.
14:20 - Being in touch with your feelings is not being emasculated.
16:56 - The Universe speaks: Dave gets into a terrible car wreck.
17:45 - Dave's Mom continues to plant seeds, even after her passing.
18:46 - Giving your kids the gift of knowing you trust them to be okay.
19:45 - As opposed to parenting from fear.
22:35 - Giving your kids "The Talk" when you never got one.
23:04 - Guys don't cry. 24:16 - Using movies as crying therapy.
26:03 - enJOY life.
27:00 - Savour your relationships.
28:50 - Using alcohol as a coping mechanism.
30:33 - We're only human. We're bound to make mistakes.
31:20 - Trust in yourself.
32:05 - Passing the values you learned from a parent to your own kids.
32:58 - People are gonna “should” all over you.
33:55 - Courage isn't not being afraid. Courage is being afraid and still going forward.
34:48 - From Captain Comfort Zone to Captain Courageous. 36:02 - Why we fear the things we fear.
37:14 - Big thinker vs. big feeler.
40:23 - Judging your father when the blinders come off.
42:17 - Saying "I love you" to an emotionally stunted father.
44:04 - Dave downsizing, but he'd rather connect with people than with stuff.
45:00 - Working hard and being paid well is a powerful and addictive drug.
46:38 - “Feeling Dave” is keeping an eye on the life compass.
49:12 - Dave's final advice to parents: Trust your kids and learn their love languages.
#MondaysDontHavetoSuck #DaveWalker #SherryYuanHunter #sandwichparenting #parentlife #motherhood #fatherhood #cptsd #recovery #selfcare
