Life altering events. There are things that have occurred in my life, in which they were so significant, I wanted to quit, because I could not see myself moving forward. What’s the use, I would say, if I could no longer share with whom I have grown accustomed to sharing and their absence leaves an irreparable hole in our heart. No one can say "it's going to be ok"; "just go on"; or quote a multitude of scriptures that now do little to ease our immediate suffering.
As a young soldier my first assignment was in a foreign land far from home. At eighteen I was innocent about so many things in life, as I lacked a great deal of exposure growing up. I was not particularly good at my job, so much so I was relieved from my first two and was placed in the only job I could not get into trouble (supposedly) the mail room. I was not easily influenced per say, but deeply trusting. Trouble found me and I was left alone to give an account of the events as I knew them. I was allowed to have someone speak on my behalf, and believed they were going to say great and wonderful things about me, using the vastness of their flowery vocabulary, but the only words they uttered in my favor (if we can say that), was “Private Howard has a bad choice of friends.” I said to myself, that is it. There was no leniency, as I had (in legal terms) the book thrown at me. I received the maximum punishment available: forfeiture of 1/2 month’s pay ($334) for three months; 45-days restriction, 45 days extra duty (sweeping, mopping, buffing, waxing, and painting); and reduction in grade. Sadly, yes, I was a “Private” twice. Indeed, I wanted to quit, as my promising career was off to a shaky start. I inquired within myself, what was the purpose of going on, I may as well find another line of work. But God had other plans, as he continually places people in my life to encourage me. Letting me know I can flourish and move forward despite the circumstances.
Today’s podcast is titled,
I Wanted to Quit
(ep. 58)
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
We all find ourselves in desperate need at some point(s) in our lives. Quite often, no matter the hopelessness of our searching, there is none in that moment who can answer, because God wants us to be completely dependent upon him for everything. I much like the disciples wanted to give up, and if we are honest all of us have been there, and admittedly some are there today. Jeremiah 29:11, however, gives us confidence stating, 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
